Imagine suddenly becoming conscious, possessing no ability to understand the world, society, cultural norms, current and global events, having to learn everything…again. Realizing that you’ve been dead for a significant amount of time and that all progress and evolving that has taken place, has taken place without you and you now must catch up, simply because your life has been restored. I imagine it would invoke quite a staggering sort of feeling…to say the least! One might experience fear of self (Am I a zombie?), or fear of others (Will I be lynched? Especially if I am a zombie?), but most certainly extreme confusion and disorientation would be present (So, what was the life I lived before? A test drive? A really long dream?).
A physical staggering seems most probable, as well. Anyone over 30, think about it: Arn’t you an achy mess just for sitting the wrong way for too long? Once motion has ceased, the human body can be tricky to start up again. Try this after considerable time, at least 100 years…oh yeah, and there’s that pesky decomposing element…You would at least look the part of a zombie, and even if foggy-brained, you would still be functional via the time you came from.
“I wish George Washington were still alive,” my younger sister said to me during a recent telephone conversation. It wasn’t ever something I expected her to utter; that our first president, alive during the last 66 years of the 1700’s, was a want for her. Considering that President Washington led a “strong, well-financed national government that maintained neutrality in the wars raging in Europe, suppressed rebellion, and won acceptance among Americans of all types” (Wikipedia), as well as several other helpful things, it’s not an irrational thought.
She had been lamenting about our country’s government as it currently stands, and specifically about Syria. Confession: Even though I know that Syria has been in the news for an extended period of time, I’ve never been a political person. In other words, I haven’t been following every update regarding Syria, its relations with the U.S., or otherwise.
As a student in middle and high school, and even college, I did everything to avoid reading news publications, listening to news broadcasts, engaging in news and/or political conversations, voting in any way, etc. It was certainly a rebellion then, a display of youth and ignorance. But more than that, what I was embarrassed to admit then was that it was also due to my lack of understanding the political world.
I am not still rebelling, and hopefully not still ignorant. Still not essentially plugging my ears and going “LA LA LA!!!” (And I’d like to believe that through the sheer passing of time, I’ve acquired a slight further insight and understanding of politics.) Instead, the real reason I am not caught up on world events is that watching any adult programming during the day when you’re the parent to a toddler/pre-school age child is mostly impossible. Not only do you not have time to watch television during peak hours, but personally, my child will not “allow” me. (It took many heated debates for her to finally accept my need for screen time just to exercise daily!)
Naturally though, my mind went right over the politics — not because I am not willing to explore it, but simply, it just did due to the way in which my mind works. So, instead, I immediately thought, “Imagine how difficult, how shocking that would be for a person, any person, past public figure or no, to suddenly be alive again after a few hundred years, and have to be caught up on world events, society, culture…everything! That would be daunting in the least. That would be likened to infancy, to starting from the very beginning of your existence all over again!”
Even though I’ve never seen the film, Encino Man (maybe just a few scenes at most), all of this speculating about President Washington — for some reason…Might it possibly be the next logical connection to draw? or is it faulty wiring in the brain? — brought the 1992 comedy starring Brendan Fraser, to mind. Wikipedia describes the film as revolving “around two geeky teenagers from Encino, Los Angeles, California, who discover a caveman in their backyard frozen in a block of ice. The caveman, played by Fraser, has to learn to live in the 20th century. Along the way, he teaches them about life.” Considering that IMDb rated the comedy 5.4/10 and Rotten Tomatoes gave it a mere 16%, audiences then must have found it as incredibly unbelievable as I do. In reality, dealing with a suddenly-alive caveman would probably be more of a science fiction film, bordering on horror, as surely the situation would get out of hand very quickly.
But, without actually viewing the movie I recognize that the same principle applies to a caveman — someone who lived even farther back than George Washington — as to Washington himself. If either Washington or a prehistoric man were to reanimate and be found by some clueless individual (clueless on how to handle the ensuing situation), would that person then try to have Washington blend in? Find clothing to fit him? Teach him today’s vernacular? Introduce him to pop culture, and current music, and social norms now? What would that scenario really be like?
Let’s examine, if you will, an overview of life in the latter portion of the 1700’s, when Washington last was beholden to gaze upon society, economy, politics, and all else: Farming, fishing, and hunting were integral to the economy and life itself. Plenty of hard labor meant that farmers and their kin worked long hours. Slavery and indentured servitude were part of the norm. Women, who had limited rights, would endure more misery than any man of the same class. Life was extremely rough for pretty much everyone, although considerably less so for rich, white men. (ehow.com)
The uptick to a downtrodden reality was the growth in those with crafting skills, such as tanners, blacksmiths, millers, carpenters, cabinet makers, silversmiths, gunsmiths, and ship makers.
Even though the first settlers of the 13 colonies were English, ethnic and religious diversity spread, eventually giving way to economic and industrial diversity, as well. And even though the colonial governments reported to the British, London was a distance; controlling the colonists and their self-governing was difficult, especially as a sense of freedom grew out of an old inherited political struggle. (ehow.com)
In our modern day, one similarity that remains — and possibly always will — is how having an abundance of funds facilitates ease and comfort in one’s life. We still farm, fish, and hunt, but not to the degree that once existed. It’s unfortunate that for all the ways things are better (no slavery; equality; advancements in medicine, technology), diversity is still a problem for some, and life is often still hard, maybe just in completely differing terms. Sad that we don’t make as much with our own hands as we used to, that smithing is basically a lost art, and that not only is so much done for us, but more is done for us than we need. Useful things turned into material stuffs.
Men’s fashion during the 1700’s was “flamboyant and frivolous,” with lengthy, full coats and vests that were embroidered with lots of bling, such as gold, jeweled buttons and “billowy” sleeves. Underneath, mounds of ruffles, and lace. Pants were worn “fitted and close to the knee” (I like to think of today’s ladies’ capri pants). This was also the days of wig-wearing; paired with a sword, a gentleman was ready to go do what men did: “‘´a courting…´a frolicking…´a drinking and ´a gaming…'” The shoes they wore for these activities (that I presume were meant more for the wealthy, Caucasian guys) were “usually black, medium heeled and pointed and prominently displayed a big shiny silver or gold buckle.” (Think: pilgrims and Thanskgiving.) (headoverheelshistory.com)
Now, comparing the above to how men dress in 2013 — even with the various styles that are worn — ole Georgie would be aghast over jeans themselves, never mind if they were slouchy in the rear (I abhor this! I abhorred it in the 1990’s; and now; and always! Can we kill this trend permanently?! Justin Bieber, you’re not original but I am addressing your wardrobe in particular!), although, once reconciling with the material itself, he might be ok with skinny fit.
Of course, if flamboyant he wants, flamboyant he could get, he just might have to be introduced to a fashion or costume designer for such fulfillment — anything shadowing Washington’s former attire would not be readily available in the mall or glimpsed in the streets on the bodies of other males. Wigs and swords and pilgrim-esque footwear is a whole other ball of wax…and listed that closely together in a sentence sounds…historically wrong, even though it apparently isn’t.
Last night, Fox premiered a new series based on The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, an 1820 short story penned by Washington Irving. Did I give it a chance? Did I watch it? No, I did not watch it and I shall not. I gather that the historical inaccuracies that I immediately see in the advertisements for the show would prove too distracting, that I would not even be able to separate mind from matter long enough to extract any entertainment value from it.
Wikipedia states that The Legend of Sleepy Hollow follows police constable Ichabod Crane, who is “sent from New York City to investigate a series of murders in the village of Sleepy Hollow by a mysterious Headless Horseman.” ShareTV.org explains that the new Sleepy Hollow series shows us Crane “resurrected and transported two and a half centuries into the future where he discovers a world on the brink of destruction. As humanity’s last hope, Ichabod joins forces with a modern-day police officer to unravel a mystery that dates all the way back to the founding fathers.” My apologies, but fictional character or not, my feeling is that no man, no matter who he was, no matter how great, wonderful, accomplished, would be in any position or shape to fill the role of humanity’s last hope upon facing the light of day for the first time in basically 250 years! Really. Please.
Tom Mison, the actor who portrays Crane and had roles in the 2012 films Parade’s End and Salmon Fishing in the Yemen is certainly a pretty man, isn’t he? But, he is hardly believable, and certainly not plausible as the police constable from 1820’s New York. No, the network couldn’t even sell me the trailer, which is where my observations derive from. I’ve mentioned historical inaccuracies; I will stick with the two that seem most like sore thumbs to me. First, Mison’s Crane appears way too adjusted, together — not undone, not fazed, dazed, or frazzled in any respect — to be a man from so long ago now coping with modern times. Second, Ichabod Crane is portrayed in paintings (did a quick search on Bing, “Ichabod Crane paintings”) as a white man. The modern-day police officer that Crane is paired with in the Sleepy Hollow series that premiered yesterday is of African-American descent. And is a woman. Do you see where I am going with this? I will not delve too deeply here, other than to say that I find it doubtful that a Caucasian male from the 1800’s wouldn’t take issue with these circumstances. It wouldn’t matter to him that slavery was abolished. It wouldn’t matter to him that women fought for equal rights. Most likely — and I know that I am drawing the conclusion that individuals did not possess free thought, that there were not here and there persons who disagreed with the sweeping thought processes, but — I can see all of this being a real problem for Crane.
Everything I’ve already said is only one side of it though. Imagine the shock for anyone that were to come into contact with a resurrected George Washington, or a caveman, or Ichabod Crane. Initially, people would either think it was an actor reenacting, or just insanity masquerading as performance. But if either of these three were somehow able to convince the world that, yes, President George Washington walks this earth again; yes, a caveman is among us…and is in need of speech lessons; and yes, Ichabod Crane, saving the world from destruction at your service, it would — to understate — be an adjustment for all of us, too. I imagine that all intensely religious persons would perceive it in their own way, such as anyone under the Christian umbrella, who might then be waiting for the Second Coming of Christ to follow soon after.
History would be at least partially rewritten. Museums would surely be impacted in some way…would have to change around a few exhibits. Maybe I’m leaning into the realm of science fiction with this thought (maybe not) but a butterfly effect could possibly take place. Maybe though, Washington, a caveman, and Crane would actually all find some thing enjoyable about the current world, possibly thinking: why didn’t we come up with that before? In any case, for all my time consumed with considering this topic for the last week, all that I am truly sure of is we can’t really produce a true What Would Washington Do/Say/Think/Feel conclusion.
Speculation leads to more speculation. “If the world were good for nothing else, it is a fine subject for speculation.” ~ William Hazlitt
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